Monday, January 23, 2017

Friends

Just a question for all my Blogger peeps.

Have you ever had an amazing friendship, a best friend/friendship, that suddenly ended?

I did this past year.
The person I used to call my best friend suddenly was no longer my friend.
I suspect that we were so politically different during this election year she simply decided we no longer had enough in common to keep the friendship going.
We came together as friends through Scrapbooking online years ago.
She lived in another state so becoming friends wasn't easy,
but we were on a design team together and after a girls weekend in LBI, NJ we both went home feeling like we had been the best of friends our whole life.
We visited one another and knew each others families.
We called each other often and shared secrets.
She was the first person I called when my mom was dying, and the 2nd person I called when my husband passed away.
She was my person.
Then suddenly it all stopped.
It's the oddest feeling, knowing that the person you thought would be your oldest and dearest friend  simply was no longer on your radar. 
She stopped responding on Facebook then one day I found she had limited my view of her page.
It felt weird, and though I knew it was all because of politics,
I had trouble believing that she would simply just stop all connection with me.
I told her long ago that it wouldn't offend me if she chose not to read or respond to some of the things I posted and I would simply do the same for her, I guess she just couldn't get there.
I mean ... isn't it possible to be friends with someone that you have differences of opinions with.
It felt like a death in the family.
I know that things and people change in life.
Friends and acquaintances come and go and sometimes change because we change.
It's still weird to me though that I know we'll never talk again.
I did feel kind of watched though, especially knowing she could have full access to my page though I was limited on hers, so one morning recently I went ahead and unfriended her, her husband and her kids.  I guess I felt like the friendship needed to go both ways or no way at all.
So that was it ... gone and they no longer have any access to view my page.
I wish her well ...
I hold no anger towards her.
I understand.

1 comment:

  1. Yes!! I had a cousin that I had an instant connection with, when we first met. Her mom is my first cousin, so Shannon and I had known about each other, but had never really talked. We were best friends for almost 8 years. She lived 2 1/2 hours away from me, but that didn't stop us from getting together every month or so. We scrapbooked and sewed together. We had a lot in common. But life happened and we ended up having a falling out. We reconnected after a couple of years, but we were both Jehovah's Witnesses and I was disfellowshipped and she cut off communication with me after that. While I was and am still sad that we are no longer close friends, I believe that she came into my life for a reason. There are things that I learned from her and vice versa, over the 8 years that we were friends and for that, I am thankful that she was in my life, if only for a short time. The election this last year was very divisive. A lot of friendships were driven apart because of it. I have a small group of close friends, there are 4 of us, who try to go out one a month. We get a long GREAT! The one thing we don't talk about is politics. I know where they stand and who they voted for and why. But for some reason, that doesn't play a part in any of our friendships. Maybe because we know each other and know that it doesn't matter who's side were are on, in the long run it doesn't matter. It only matters what is in our hearts and that we love each other for that reason alone. I am SO very sorry that you have lost a good friend. In a way, it is like losing someone in death, as you mourn the loss of your friend. Life is ever changing and so are the people that come in and out of our lives. I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason and we learn from each and every person that comes into our lives, if only for a moment. Take care, Jen

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